What Should You Tell Your Executor?

Why telling your executor matters

Being named as an executor comes with responsibility, but without information, that responsibility becomes a burden. Executors need to find documents, manage accounts, contact professionals, and handle countless details — often while grieving. Telling your executor what they need to know in advance gives them time to prepare and ask questions. It also ensures your wishes are understood and can be carried out as you intended. The alternative — having your executor discover everything on their own — leads to delays, missed documents, and unnecessary stress for someone who is already navigating a difficult time. A simple conversation, backed by a written executor information sheet, transforms an overwhelming task into a manageable process.

Start with the conversation

The first thing to tell your executor is that you have named them. Have a direct conversation — in person if possible. Explain why you chose them, what you expect their role to involve, and where they can find the information they need. This conversation should be calm and practical. Let them ask questions and be honest about the time and effort involved. Many people are honored to be asked but appreciate knowing what they are agreeing to. The conversation also gives you an opportunity to gauge whether this person is comfortable with the responsibility and whether they have any concerns you can address upfront.

• Thank them for agreeing to take on the role
• Explain that you are organizing information to make their job easier
• Let them know where your executor information sheet is stored
• Give them a general sense of the key accounts and documents you have
• Ask if they have any questions or concerns right now
• Discuss who else in the family knows about their role and whether they want support from others
• Let them know you will update the information regularly and keep them informed of changes

What to tell your executor about documents

Your executor needs to know where to find your most important documents. Start with the will and any trust documents, since these are usually the first things an executor needs. Tell them the physical location and whether there is a digital copy. Also mention your attorney's contact information so they can get legal guidance. Be specific about locations — a general description like "in the office" is not enough. Say "in the black fireproof safe in the home office, key is in the kitchen drawer marked 'household keys.'" Also mention where other critical documents are stored — birth certificates, marriage licenses, property deeds, insurance policies, and tax returns. You do not need to list every document in the first conversation, but give your executor a clear picture of the categories of documents that exist and where the most important ones are located.

What to tell your executor about accounts

Your executor needs a general picture of your financial accounts, even if you do not share every detail immediately. Tell them which banks and financial institutions you use, what types of accounts you have, and whether any accounts have joint owners or beneficiaries. You do not need to share account numbers in the initial conversation, but your executor information sheet should include them. Also mention any recurring bills, subscriptions, or automatic payments so your executor knows what to expect. If you have any unusual financial arrangements — such as accounts in other countries, business accounts, or trust accounts — mention these so your executor is not surprised later.

What to tell your executor about contacts

Your executor will need to contact several professionals. Share the names and roles of your key contacts — attorney, financial advisor, accountant, and insurance agent. You do not need to give phone numbers in the initial conversation, but make sure they are in your executor information sheet. Explain why each contact is relevant so your executor knows who to call for what. For example, "My attorney John Smith has a copy of my will and can guide you through probate." If you have a primary care physician or specialists who may need to provide medical records or certificates, include their names as well. Giving your executor context about each contact helps them prioritize who to call first and what to ask when they reach out.

What to tell your executor about digital life

Digital accounts are one of the most commonly overlooked areas in executor planning. Your executor should know that you have digital accounts, where your password manager is located, and how to access it. Tell them about your primary email account, since that is often the key to resetting other accounts. Mention any social media profiles you maintain and your preference for each one — whether you want them preserved, memorialized, or closed. If you use cloud storage for important files, tell your executor which service and what files to look for. Subscription services like streaming platforms, software licenses, and membership sites should also be mentioned so your executor can decide which to maintain and which to cancel.

What to tell your executor about final wishes

Your executor should know your preferences for funeral and memorial arrangements. This is often an emotional topic, but sharing your wishes in advance prevents family disagreements and uncertainty. Tell your executor whether you prefer burial or cremation, whether you have any religious or cultural traditions, and whether you have pre-arranged anything with a funeral home. You can also reference a separate legacy letter or personal wishes document for more detail. If you have preferences about the type of service, specific readings or music, or charitable organizations you would like donations directed to, share those as well. Even if you keep things simple, having a general sense of your wishes helps your executor make decisions with confidence.

When and how to share the details

Share the detailed executor information sheet after your initial conversation, not during it. Give your executor time to process the conversation before handing them a binder or a link to your family vault. When you do share, use a secure method — a private digital vault like Lieu & Legacy is ideal because you control access and can update information anytime. If you use a physical binder, keep it in a known location with a backup digital copy. Let your executor know that the information will be updated regularly and that you will notify them of significant changes. This ongoing communication ensures your executor always has current information without having to ask.

How Lieu & Legacy helps

Lieu & Legacy makes it easy to share the right information with your executor. Build your executor information sheet in a private family vault, then grant your executor access to what they need. You control the level of detail they can see, and you can update information instantly. Your executor always has access to the most current version of your instructions, contacts, and account notes. Start organizing your executor information in Lieu & Legacy today.

When to speak with a professional

Lieu & Legacy is not a law firm and does not provide legal, tax, financial, medical, emergency, or probate advice. This article is for general organization and education only. For advice specific to your situation, speak with a qualified professional. Telling your executor about their role is a personal conversation, but legal documents such as wills, trusts, and powers of attorney should always be prepared and reviewed by a qualified attorney. A financial advisor can help with account-related decisions.